


maybe the real god uses tricks, you know?

by O Lord Heal This OAbsalom (OAbsalom)



Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, Perfectly Horrid Velocipedes, sentient books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OAbsalom/pseuds/O%20Lord%20Heal%20This%20OAbsalom
Summary: The books didn't understand what was happening... It was some Groundhog Day-style nightmare.Wherein Aziraphale's books have to experience every single iteration of the bookshop sex scene written in fanfiction.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733320
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: The Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies of OLHTS





	maybe the real god uses tricks, you know?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [**Not-So-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies**](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/OLHTCrack) **(née _Perfectly Horrid Velocipedes_ )** wherein _O Lord Heal This (Discord) Server_ gets together with a terrible, ungodly crack prompt and writes our ~~best~~ worst fic in 300 words or less, average word count 1.5k. 
> 
> Thank you, my dearest [Veevethan (vol_ctrl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl) for all of your amazing work putting this monstrosity of an event together, keeping everyone on track, and delegating like a boss! And a big shoutout to [nothing_goldcanstay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothing_goldcanstay) for all of your help organizing the event in the past!
> 
> This week's prompt: "Aziraphale's books are sentient." _Winner of this week's Overall Winner Award_, the prize being an amazing [PODFIC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857384) by the stunning and talented [Literarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literarion)!

The books didn't understand what was happening. It was some Groundhog Day-style nightmare. Day after day, the redhead would come over. The confession was always slightly different. Who fell in love first. How long it had been. Why one had never told the other. One or the other or both cried or shouted or whispered. But it always... Oh God, it always ended the same. 

Well, not exactly the same. Sometimes, they were shoved from atop the desk and scattered across the floor to make way for the pair of bodies. Sometimes, they were knocked from high shelves as their master threw the redhead against them, others pressed back hard in their places by the slick and sweaty bodies. Sometimes, they just had to watch as clothes were pushed away, sometimes thrown on their stacks, until the panting and squelching of the partners had turned into their last sighed expressions of love. 

It was horror. Utter terror. Within their pages had never been contained such obscenities, especially obscenities neverending. What the books didn't know, however, was that the internet never ends. The same stories are writ and rewrit. And the books, oh, the ever-present books, must endure them all.


End file.
